In a land far away from my home, I sit and I type these words into a computer in an office that will no longer be "mine" in 1 and 1/2 more days. No joke. My job is over on the 15th, which is the morrow.
In this land far away from my home, skipping back and forth over these words that are being typed into a computer in an office that will no longer be mine in 1 and 1/2 more days, my eyes focus on the things I've been missing out on for years. Cracks in the walls, sounds of air shifting with other air... I could go on. Not to mention, these eyes are seeing things in a clear, shimmering, more beautiful light and are residing in a skull that encompasses a brain that is a little less mushy than it was months ago, weeks ago, days ago.
This land far away from my home, I know as Arkansas. I once knew as home. (I was a child).
In 7 days time I will be on the road back home. I don't necessarily like to even call it home because I always called Arkansas home... but being away from one's actual home makes one realize where home really is. (Make sense to you numbskulls?)
Anyway, returning there means returning to murky faucet water, Chicago-smelling air, bleak outlooks, bar hopping, a fucking cesspool of pissy feminists and angry chauvanists, different allergens that I have to re-adjust to... I could go on and on with the negatives. I'm not sure why I'm returning sometimes.
Then I think about the things I'll be returning to that I actually really love. That list is way longer.
Yes, Malia Kay,
you came a very long way,
by learning how to outweigh,
that negative sway
over your life.
:)
(Just made that shit up, hey.)
So in this land far away from my home, I look at myself, I look into my own eyes that are less sunken between pounds of dark blue eyeshadow and furrowed, pissy brow... they actually look very bright and gravid with something like hope for the future. I think this is swell. I'm sure you will too when you see what I'm seeing.
Until then.
(But maybe a couple more blogs in between).
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It's strange how leaving a place allows you to see the little things that make it whole. The brain going into A-wave, opening your senses, going back to it's natural state.
ReplyDeleteFor many of us a change of pace & scenery is all that's needed to recharge one's batteries.
For others it takes much more. I'm not sure which of those people I am, but it would seem that you are one of the first type.
Either way, it's great that Arkansas was good for you, I hope to venture to Texas sometime in the next few years & reboot the computer that is my life; hopefully it's as fulfilling as this has been for you.